Book Read, 2008

"Beautiful Boy" by David Sheff

This is the Father's version of the tragedy of addiction and its effects on family and addict. The son's version is put forth in "Tweak" by Nic Sheff.

Mr. Zoom didn't know these two authors were related, he just knows what kind of books I love and when he saw both of these, he brought them both home.

I am amazed at the rounding out of the experience I feel having the opportunity to see (read) it from both points of view. And having lost a family member to the same addictions that Nic experienced, David's book actually brought me a lot closer to understanding my parents' actions in our own struggles.

I believe that addiction is biological, and a lot - if not entirely out of the control of the addict. But before I read these two books together, I realized that believing that on one hand, I was still quietly blaming our lost family member for the turbulence in our lives. I wasn't able, until now, to let him off the hook. I don't think I've come around to being able to do it effortlessly - as I still have to force a deduction process.

Several times I had to remind myself that my family did not write this book. There were so many things that were hauntingly similar to my own family, and probably hundreds of other families too, but I had to keep making sure the author listed was not my own Father.

I am left feeling a lot lighter about what happened to my own family.

Phrases by Sheff, David

From "Beautiful Boy" by David Sheff



A woman at an al-anon meeting said "....I can't take my life as long as I can still laugh."

How innocent we are of our mistakes and how responsible we are for them.

Therapist tells him "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Book Read, 2008

"Tweak" by Nic Sheff

I have to admit, this book felt a little rambly and pointless. That is not to say that it was a bad experience to read it. It gave me a better insight into what addicts deal with. And then I realized that in a total coincidence, Mr. Zoom had bought this book and Nic Sheff's FATHER's book about the same experiences - so the Father's book was in my waiting to read pile. I dove for it. How rare is it to get two perspectives on the same events like that?

Phrase by Sheff, Nic

From "Tweak" by Nic Sheff

"... or maybe that's just me comparing my goddamn insides to everyone else's outsides. But I swear to God, I just seem to wrestle with everything more than anyone else."